Funny | Atom's Thoughts

Archive for Funny

Must Read: Funniest Chat Ever

// August 27th, 2009 // 50 Comments » // Funny

This all started when Dukes played some gay asian fantasy music. So Rosco called it what it was gay asian fantasy music.

Which leads us to the conversation below:

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:02 PM]:

it’s AWESOME

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:02 PM] sends:

avatar_unicorn-500x255

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:02 PM]:

this is the movie its from

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:02 PM]:

LOL

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:02 PM]:

yes, I have seen the previews

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:03 PM]:

nuthin like a unicorn

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:03 PM]:

roasted on an open fire

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:03 PM]:

they come with their own sticks!

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:04 PM]:

they only eat smores

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:04 PM]:

roasted on their unihorns

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:04 PM]:

and they like the Village People

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:04 PM]:

this one’s a little better

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

I’m the Disco King

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

I need my skates

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

and my rainbow wig

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

the ladies love my style

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

I may be coming down with something

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:05 PM]:

LL COOL PHAT

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:05 PM]:

too much chicken pot pie

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:06 PM]:

costco pizza

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

that last slab today may have been tainted

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

that too

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

omg

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

my diet today:

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

1 doughnut

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

1 slab of chicken pot pie

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

1 free pizza

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

1 bag of fritos

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:06 PM]:

being the fatest guy ever priceless

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

always

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:06 PM]:

VISA

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:06 PM]:

I think my arteries are starting to actually SQUEAL

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:07 PM]:

You have become pork

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:07 PM]:

sweet n’ sour

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:07 PM]:

battered

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:07 PM]:

all I need is a wick, because I am a candle

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:07 PM]:

The doctor said they tried to check your cholesteral and it came back pig fat

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:07 PM]:

I AM SATURATED FAT

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:08 PM]:

they tried to take blood and lard oozed out

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:08 PM]:

its a new Obama commercial for the health care

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:08 PM]:

my only hope is to thin it out with liquor

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:08 PM]:

Don’t be this guy

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:08 PM]:

eat everything and wait to see what happens

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:08 PM]:

I think I have a hubcap in my stomach

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:08 PM]:

please start calling me “Catfish”

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:09 PM]:

I have SOUL

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:09 PM]:

from the diet alone

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:09 PM]:

I should weigh 40000000 lbs

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:09 PM]:

luckily, I just weigh in at about 400

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:09 PM]:

most of the fat settles in my feet

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:10 PM]:

Asians try to hang you upsidedown unfridgerated when you go to asian markets

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

they ask for permission to ‘drain my renderings’

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

I usually decline

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

unless they would like to pay

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

maybe tonight I will have a light dinner

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

some mayo

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

cheese

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:10 PM]:

canola oil

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:11 PM]:

lobster and butter without the lobster

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

all mixed up in a bucket

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

YES!

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

my favorite seafood

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

BUTTER

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:11 PM]:

same as a cheese stick

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

oh here’s a good one

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:11 PM]:

both are dairy

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

Mexican music

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

homemade!

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:11 PM]:

Swine Polka

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:11 PM]:

oh yes

Rosco Chico Gonzoco [3:11 PM]:

I need a corona and some uncurable disease stat

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:12 PM]:

oh yes

Dukes Makenzy Bubblelicious [3:12 PM]:

the tijuana termors

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Work Chats

// July 23rd, 2009 // 79 Comments » // Funny

Guy 2 [7:48 AM]:

ponderous

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

i have to use that today

Guy 2 [7:48 AM]:

like “I wonder what the heck she just said?”

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

the plural

Guy 2 [7:48 AM]:

many things are ponderous in these parts

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

she pondered us both

Guy 2 [7:48 AM]:

it’s an adjective

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

ponderus

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

also next to hondouras

Guy 2 [7:48 AM]:

to ponder is the verb

Random Guy 1 [7:48 AM]:

lol

Guy 2 [7:49 AM]:

Paraguayador

Random Guy 1 [7:49 AM]:

swinefuluxico

Guy 2 [7:49 AM]:

that’s a city in CHIHUAHUA

Guy 2 [7:49 AM]:

near Yoquierotacobellixco

Random Guy 1 [7:49 AM]:

i have to mourn today the taco bell dog is dead

Guy 2 [7:50 AM]:

I know

Guy 2 [7:50 AM]:

they’re putting it in the ‘meat’

Random Guy 1 [7:50 AM]:

all work will cease

Guy 2 [7:50 AM]:

recycling

Random Guy 1 [7:50 AM]:

dead horses have to go somewhere

Guy 2 [7:50 AM]:

glue factory

Random Guy 1 [7:50 AM]:

said the ceo of taco bell

Guy 2 [7:50 AM]:

that’s my retirement plan

Random Guy 1 [7:50 AM]:

huffing glue

Random Guy 1 [7:51 AM]:

or eating dead horses

Guy 2 [7:51 AM]:

probably both

Guy 2 [7:51 AM]:

under a bridge somewhere

Random Guy 1 [7:51 AM]:

in chihuhaua

Guy 2 [7:51 AM]:

I’ll need a stocking cap

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Crazy Tuesday Stuff: It’ll make you laugh!

// July 21st, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Funny, Odd

Really in some country this was passed as a quality marketing product? What you got in your mouth?….umm Camel Balls.

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

So Funny! Monday’s need Humor

// July 20th, 2009 // 844 Comments » // Funny

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15xbtK7r-SA[/youtube]

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Thursday Comedy (subscribe to rss feed too)

// July 16th, 2009 // 38 Comments » // Funny

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmJLjT0ZWMI&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Hello My Awesome Subscribers!

// July 16th, 2009 // 9 Comments » // Funny

Hey All.

Excited to see the blog growing and welcome 30 new subscribers this week.

Got some great stuff comin. Be sure to use the share features on each post to spread the social love.

here is a random pic for making you read this

Pretty sure he bumps those Bass CD’s from the 90′s with cartoon chicks on the covers. You know you had one too. Usually called something random like BASS EXPLOSION and the only lyrics involved the word bass.

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Tuesday Comedy

// July 14th, 2009 // 16 Comments » // Funny

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

Crazy Monday Comedy

// July 13th, 2009 // 802 Comments » // Funny

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EP-SyiThOM[/youtube]

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

That’s When The Fight Started (jokes)

// July 10th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Funny

A friend of mine had this as one of his notes on Facebook:

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”
And that’s when the fight started….

………………..
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started….

……………….

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed
my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….
> ……………….

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind
was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.. I went back into
the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my
wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The
weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And that’s when the fight started….
> ………………..

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman,
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Holy Crap.
That must be my husband!”
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car
as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to
the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I AM your husband!”
The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?”
And that’s when the fight started…
> ………………..

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the face cream..
And that s when the fight started….
> ……………….

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look
old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband
replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And that’s when the fight started….

> ………………..

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started….

> ……………….

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” said my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?”
And that’s when the fight started….
> ……………….

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my SIN.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify
my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later. The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she
processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.”
And that’s when the fight started…
> ………………..

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.
And that’s when the fight started….

> ………………..
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds. ”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that’s when the fight started….

> ………………..
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked
him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you
last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed

More Humor for the Thursday Grind

// July 9th, 2009 // 118 Comments » // Funny

from failblog.org

from izismile.com

from izsmile.com

from izsmile.com

This blog post is from Atom's Thoughts Blog. A mashup of the random postings of Atom McCree. Find Atom on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin. Also take a look at his portfolio. Visit Atom's Thoughts Blog or Subscribe to the RSS Feed